Really Good (throat clearing noise)

The title of this post is actually "Really Good Assholes" but I was afraid if that was the email subject line my newsletter would be sent to spam jail.

At my first writing workshop in 2019 (Viable Paradise in Martha’s Vineyard), a memorable bit of feedback I got from one of my peers was: “You write really good assholes.”

I do, in fact, take a lot of pride in how I write asshole characters. They are not just one thing! They require nuance! There are good-natured assholes, who just enjoy taking the piss. There are uptight assholes, who firmly believe they deserve everything to go their way, every time. There are accidental assholes, who casually insult you while talking about their day, and malicious assholes, who get off on tormenting others. Are they assholes on purpose or unintentionally? Are they assholes simply because they can get away with it, or is there something they’re trying to accomplish?

Part of why I am such an expert on this particular type of human is because, well, I worked with the general public for well over twenty years.

In veterinary medicine, you meet all kinds. My clients were some of the kindest, most generous people and also some of the nastiest and least compassionate. You meet pet owners of all ages, incomes, occupations, races, genders, and political persuasions. Surprisingly, you occasionally meet one who doesn’t actually like their pet or even animals in general. You also have to convince each and every one of these people to trust you enough to provide care, often under emotionally fraught circumstances – even the worst kind of assholes! They do not cover how to navigate this in vet school, at least not when I went, which means you spend a lot of time figuring out how people tick. (Which is a nice way of saying you have to learn how to manipulate people into doing what is best for their pet.)

There are a LOT of people skills required for a job focused on animals.

It's not just assholes, either. There are also the people who defy a pithy one-word descriptor. Like the client who brought me a gift and said: “I saw this in the trash and thought of you!” Or the man who wanted us to host an open casket funeral for his dog that had died in his home SEVERAL DAYS earlier. Not to mention the woman who asked if she could take her beloved cat for “one last spin” after I euthanized him and did not mean a car ride. (She literally picked up her deceased cat and spun him in a circle, yelling “Wheeeee!”) And I can’t forget the alarming number of seemingly otherwise well-educated people who insisted that their cat’s or dog’s nipples were not nipples because “he’s a boy!”

An interesting thing that happened was, when I would share tidbits about the assholes or the cat spinners or the nipple deniers, someone on staff would always say: Why do you always get the interesting clients? (Substitute various unflattering words for "interesting.")

The thing is, I didn’t. I am just particularly interested in people and how they work as it helped me be better at my job, and that often meant giving them free rein to say whatever the hell they wanted. And because I love telling stories, it meant I enjoyed spinning these little interactions into an entertaining narrative. (All with appropriate confidentiality, of course.)

I think these years of being an amateur anthropologist is why my writing is, first and foremost, focused on characters and how they relate to those around them. After years of teaching myself human psychology as a way to communicate effectively with my clients, I needed somewhere for those skills to go. The natural place is my novels.

Which is a very long way of saying: there is no such thing as wasted time when you’re making art.

At some point you’ll see a profile about a twenty-one-year-old who just published her second novel, or see some adolescent wailing away on the drums, or even a child actor who seems in touch with the human condition in a way some of her adult co-stars aren’t. (Have you ever seen Kirsten Dunst’s performance in Interview with the Vampire? Her performance blows Brad Pitt’s out of the water.)

If you are older than twenty-one – if, say, you are significantly more than twice that age – you may see one of these profiles and fret over your wasted youth, wondering why you spent so much time doing whatever it was you were doing instead of perfecting your craft. I object to this framing.

Life begets art. Whether you didn’t have any intention of starting a creative career until recently or if you knew you wanted to be a photographer from a young age but weren’t able to make a serious go of it until later, you were gathering material. You were observing, you were developing a point of view, you were letting yourself be changed by your job, your relationships, other art.

So, yes, being a veterinarian for twenty-five years taught me how to write a really good asshole. It also taught me a lot about looking beyond surfaces and digging into hidden motivations and beliefs – something that helps me build all my characters, even the likable ones! Stop worrying about if too much time has slipped by, and you’ll never achieve the thing you want, and just put all that living you’ve been doing instead to work.

Something I'm Reading

I recently finished Fonda Lee’s latest, The Last Contract of Isako. Lee’s Green Bone Saga was the series that made me love epic fantasy again. (I loved it as a kid, read a couple of series in adulthood that I enjoyed but made me think I’d gotten what I could out of the genre, then read Jade City and was like: wait, you can set epic fantasy in more modern settings? You can take inspiration from places beyond western Europe?) Anyway, the Green Bone Saga is fantastic, but 3 rather long books. If you want, instead, a single rather long book, check out The Last Contract. A very readable, well-paced, sci-fi thriller. No one is better than Lee at efficiently explaining the world she’s created in ways that don’t require you to read five pages of someone rambling on about the economic system or whatever. In fact, at Viable Paradise (see above) she gave a lecture entitled The Lazy Bastard’s Guide to Worldbuilding and I use my notes from that all the time.

Come See Me! (Virtually-speaking)

Hey, do you know about Flights of Foundry? It’s an amazing virtual con that is FREE to attend (Although we would love a donation if you can afford it! I am on the board, and everything goes back to supporting early career creatives in the speculative arts). There are tracks on writing, gaming, art, comics and more! It is great for writers, gamers, artists, and also fans! Also I will be there!

Here are my appearances: (Once you register it will convert UTC to your time zone, but you can also find a converter here.)

Reading on Sept 18, 22-23 UTC I'll probably read my one speculative poem and also a short fiction story that's behind a pay wall as they're both fairy tale adjacent (one more obviously the other).

Revealing Plot Structures Through Adaptation on Sept 20, 17-18 UTC. A panel on comparing plot structures of adaptations to better understand how different media uses plot.

Being a Good Literary Citizen - Giving Back to Community on Sept 20, 23-00 UTC. A panel on the many ways to support other creatives and help build community, from critique swaps to reviews, judging contests to volunteering for orgs and magazines.

Thank you for reading! You can always find links to my work here on my website. If you have any questions/thoughts on what I’m writing/reading/watching or there are topics you’d like to see me cover, leave a comment or drop me a line here!

💕 Katie